Book Marketing for Nitwits: SEO

Diary of a Book Marketing Novice: Search Engine Optimization (SEO)


Last week, I came up with a bunch of keyword phrases that will surely lure Google users to my site, boost my Web traffic enough to impress agents and publishers, and land me a six-figure book deal that will lead to groupies, People magazine cover stories, and stints in rehab.

But identifying the right keyword phrases is only step one in the SEO process. The words don't do any good if they just sit in your spreadsheet. You have to add them to your Web site so Google can find them.

Here is my step-by-step process for adding keywords to this blog.

1) Open yet another book on Internet book marketing, read section on SEO that discusses Meta tags and includes lengthy discourse on HTML. Close book and go outside to look for a cigarette butt that isn't smoked too far down. Smoke it. Little kids across the street watch with great interest.

2) Back at desk, search blog's Help section for info on Meta Tags. Find an article from 2009 that claims Google doesn't care about Meta tags stuffed with keywords. That makes two of us.

I abandon Meta tag exercise and move on to section on "Title tags."  Another discussion of HTML. Close book and search fridge for beer. Find a half bottle of wine that smells like old gym socks. Drink it.

Note: Title tags are the words that appear at very tippy-top of browser window and identify the Web page you're viewing.

3) Back at desk, search Google for: "How do I edit title tags in Blogger." Find an article on how to alter your title tag so Google will like you better. The article recommends copying some code into the bowels of Blogger. The instructions make no sense. I follow them.

Now the titles of my Blogger articles appear before the blog name. For example, the title text for this article now reads:

"Book Marketing for Nitwits: SEO | The Loneliest Planet by Randy Ross"

instead of

"The Loneliest Planet by Randy Ross | Book Marketing for Nitwits: SEO."

Is this idiotic? Yes. Do you want to risk making Google unhappy? Didn't think so.

Note: Though all the cool kids use WordPress for their blogs and Web sites, I use Blogger because it is supposed to be easier. I'm pretty happy with it. Also, Google owns Blogger -- you must get some SEO bonus points for being a good customer. (Too see this in action, click the title at the top of this page "Book Marketing for Nitwits: SEO")

4)  Wine kicks in, Title tags section of book now makes sense. These tags are derived from the actual title of my blog posts. I go into most popular posts in my blog and stuff article titles with keywords. Now, have a writer's blog that reads like it was written by non-native English speaker. Change titles back to originals.

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5) Book Marketing book recommends creating article descriptions packed with keywords for most popular articles. Blogger has a field for each article that allows this. Easy.

6) I notice that Blogger also lets you create Labels for articles. No such thing as too many keywords: I create Labels with words that will no doubt attract my readers. Labels include: "happy ending," "sexy massage," and "mile high club."

7)  Other sections of Book Marketing book discuss embedding keywords in articles, graphics, text links, plus the use of keyword density analyzing tools.

Look down at computer keyboard: It is covered with sweat. Check Facebook page and find strange posts from someone who sounds a lot like me. Enough online book marketing for one day.

8) Smoke another cigarette butt on front stoop; kids and parents watch. Remember more ideas for a keyword-packed Labels.  

9) Back at computer, add Labels for "erotic humor" and "how not to find love." Recall that I paid $500 to meet agents at an upcoming writers conference. Agents may ask for my Klout score, a measure of success at Social Networking. I sign up for Klout. It doesn't work. Done with book marketing for the day.

10) Pack bag for gym. Remember that I might be able to boost Klout score -- if tool ever works -- with something called Twitterfeed, which automatically takes new blog articles and posts them to Twitter, Facebook, and Linked In. This tool works as advertised. But will it mangle posts and make me look like an idiot? Doesn't matter, I'm done with online book marketing for today.

11) Repack bag for gym. Recall that a tool called Friend or Follow will make it easy for me to identify people I'm following who aren't following me. Following more people than you have following you is a sign of desperation and low Social Media status. I sign up and start dumping people. Within an hour, I am following 447 people and have 458 followers.

12) Halfway out the door. But have to check Web analytics to see if 10 yours I've spent today on SEO has started to boost traffic.

Traffic has spiked: I'm a genius!

Then check to see source of new traffic: All changes I made to my site were counted as new traffic. But no one needs to know that. (You won't tell anyone, will you?)
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More Book Marketing for Nitwits

1) Easy, Sleazy Book Marketing Tips
Change you traffic measuring tool, join a Facebook Like-fest, and if anyone asks: "But officer, everyone else is doing it."

2) Book Marketing for Nitwits: Keyword Phrases