Showing posts with label never married. Show all posts
Showing posts with label never married. Show all posts

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Are Men Doomed?

Here are three books predicting the end of men as we know it. Guys: Time to kiss your furry butts good bye.

Some contributing factors:
- Changing nature of work: Construction and manufacturing jobs -- high paying jobs that require physical strength are disappearing.
- Changing nature of work party II: Rise of marketing and media jobs. Assuming women do most of the shopping, who better to market to them? Other women.
-  Women don't need a man to get pregnant.
- Adolescence lasting into the thirties. (Can't remember why this affects men more than women.)

Results:
- Women who don't want to marry down, end up marrying late or not at all.
- Average age of marriage in spiking: In Asia it's 32.
- Divorce rates up, birth rates decreasing.
- In some countries, men are importing wives from impoverished countries
- The world is going to hell!
 

Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys
I read most of this one. A nice job.

The End of Men
(This links to a review in the WSJ. I read the review: Disturbing, if you're a guy -- we're done for.)

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks
Written by comedian Adam Carolla.
"It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys.  What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.  Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back."

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Close Encounter on a 747

or How Not to Join the Mile-High Club




For more travel stories, see:
- Unemployed writer vs. most annoying hotel clerk in Greece
- How to Lose it in Bangkok
- Rats, Plague, and Burritos: Another Day in Nha Trang, Vietnam

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Find Your Match: The 5 Romantic Personalities

A Dating Personality Quiz: How to Find Love

1) Martyrs
- Feel everything intensely, especially love, rejection, and Red Sox playoff losses.
- Claim to know what they want in a mate; say smug things like "I won't settle."
- Spend most Saturday nights alone.
- Cry at crapola love stories like The Bridges of Madison County.
- Capable of great happiness when involved and great bitterness when single.
- Examples: Jackson Browne, Vincent Van Gogh, Billie Joe McAllister.
- Favorite quote: "My heart is your piƱata."

2) Settlers
- Martyrs who marry suddenly because of an external event like a scary health problem, a milestone birthday, or an aging parent who wants to see them hooked up.
- Husbands are often happy with this arrangement. -Wives often seek divorce after children leave for college. - Examples: Too many to list.
- Favorite quote: "I'll have the baked chicken, no skin, butter, salt, oil, or bread crumbs. And a glass of water with no ice."

3) Mercenaries
- Approach love as if it were just another transaction, to-do item, or mission.
- Emotionally detached with flat, even moods.
- Tend to be content instead of happy.
- Examples: Ted Bundy, Dirty Harry, Angelina Jolie.
- Favorite quote: "Kill them all and let God sort them out."

4) Bonders
- Born with good brain chemistry.
- Can connect with most anyone and be happy in most situations.
- Are good as friends, but boring as lovers.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
- Examples: Anyone married for more than three years.
- Favorite quote: "Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy day."

5) Barnacles
- Don’t have the stomach for dating.
- Always in a relationship.
- A bad choice for spouseless vacations because without a partner they glom on to you.
- Examples: Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, and other people married at least eight times.
- Favorite quote: "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world."

For a more probing look into your psyche, see "Are You Marriage Material?"

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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Self Test #1: Are You Marriage Material?

Will you spend your life alone? 

I) Give yourself one point for each item that applies.

1) You can tolerate boredom:

- After sex
- After lithium
- Fuck you.

2) Nesting instincts:

- I have no furniture.
- I have college furniture.
- I once went to Crate and Barrel for a free wine and cheese reception.

3) Your girflfriend asks you to get a video for her preschool daughter's birthday party. You choose:

- Borat
- Death Wish
- Last Tango in Paris

4) You miss your ex most when:

- Eating alone
- Watching a movie alone
- Paying the mortgage alone

5) If a significant other says "no" to sex, you:

- Take her to her favorite restaurant because she's probably having a difficult week.
- Take her college-aged daughter to her favorite restaurant because she's probably having a difficult week.
- Visit Yvonne, the double-jointed masseuse.

6) Last relationship failed because:

- You forgot her birthday.
- You forgot her phone number.
- You forgot her name.

7) It's your anniversary and she is expecting something special, so you:

- Go drinking with the boys
- Go skiing with the boys
- Visit Yvonne, the double-jointed masseuse.

8) How well do you understand women?

- When a woman says "no," she means "feel my breasts."
- When a woman says "let go of my throat, you're hurting me," she means "feel my breasts."
- When a woman says "get out now or I'm calling the police," she
means "feel my breasts."

II) Scoring

- One to three: Clueless
- Three to six: Hopeless
- Six or more: Dangerous

Enjoy this quiz? Consider "The Loneliest Planet: The Handbook for the Chronically Single" ($8 print, $1.00 PDF)

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Why I'm over 40 and still single: New Video

The fish theory, the valency theory, one day at the shrink's office.

Latest video excerpt from novel in progreshttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifs.




For more humorous articles on being over 40 and single, see:
- Quiz: Are you marriage material?
- Quiz: What's your love style: Martyr, Missionary, Bonder or Barnacle?
- Erotic humor: The online date that went a little too right.

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