Professional Update/Upcoming Comedy Performances

Dear All,
 
My apologies in advance to anyone who has already seen this on Facebook or elsewhere. But once again, I would love a little help spreading the word about my upcoming performances.
 
I) Executive Summary: What I'm Up To
 
- Polishing a novel, The Loneliest Planet, which I've been writing for the last six years. The manuscript will go to agents and publishers in early 2015 (I swear!)
 
- Lecturing about online marketing for writers at colleges and adult education centers around Boston.
 
- My one-man show, The Chronic Single's Handbook, will be featured at theater festivals in Orlando, FL; Atlanta; and Edinburgh, Scotland; this spring and summer.
 
 
II) Pleading and Groveling
 
Can you help me get the word out about my upcoming shows?
 
- Mention to people you know who might go, post on Twitter, Facebook, etc. (Sample Tweets and links below. Also, I inserted my online flyer and link at the end of this note.)
 
- I'm happy to reciprocate and share your events or news on Twitter, Facebook, etc.
 
Sample Tweet:

A friend performs his show Chronic Single's Handbook: FL (5/14-24) Atlanta (6/5-8) Edinburgh (8/1-16) Go or RT http://www.chronicsingle.com/2014/04/the-chronic-singles-handbook-shows-for.html
 
Sample Facebook Post:
 
A friend will perform his one-man comedy play, The Chronic Single's Handbook, in Orlando, FL (5/14-24) Atlanta (6/5-8) Edinburgh, Scotland (8/1-16). The play is about a never-married guy who takes a trip around the world looking for the woman of his dreams. Please go or share. http://www.chronicsingle.com/2014/04/the-chronic-singles-handbook-shows-for.html
 
III) More Detail Than You Want
 
1) Here are some links to youtubes of me performing two scenes from a December performance in Boston. For the upcoming theater festivals, I'll have props but no mic, which means I'll be able to move around the stage.
 
- Opening scene:
"Chronically single? You've got lots of company"
Content warning for adults situations, black tongues, sadistic medical professionals.
http://youtu.be/zuzpRPWGg_c

- "One Day in Thailand"
Lady boys, tuk-tuk scammers, and the day I was almost gay.
http://youtu.be/p8AF_xhXctg

 
IV) Online flyer for the show
 
The link: http://www.chronicsingle.com/2014/04/the-chronic-singles-handbook-shows-for.html
 
The actual flyer:

"The Chronic Single's Handbook": Shows for 2014

The Chronic Single's Handbook: One man's global search for love

A solo performance inspired by actual events  
featuring Randy Ross 
 


 
Exotic Locales

Pepto-Bismol

A body-spa named The Curious Finger.



Early praise for The Chronic Single's Handbook:
 
"Hysterical, side-splitting, profound, a tour-de-force of droll insight. One of the year's best."
-- Randy Ross, writer/performer, The Chronic Single's Handbook
 
"The balance on your credit card is overdue. Please remit immediately."
-- Bank of West Boston



Upcoming Shows (all shows last one hour)

1) May 14-24 Orlando International Fringe theater festival

Dates/times
- Wed, May 14 (11:30 pm)
- Fri, May 16 (9:00 pm)
- Sat, May 17 (4:20 pm)
- Wed, May 21 (10:30 pm)
- Sat, May 24 (3:15 pm)

Location
Red Venue, Lowndes Shakespeare Center
812 E Rollins
Orlando, FL 32803
Directions

Tickets, more information.
- Cost: $12, plus one-time $9 fee for a festival entry button, which is required to see any show at the festival (sorry).

Sample show program


2) June 5-8 Atlanta Fringe theater festival


Dates/times
- Thurs, June 5 (8:00 pm)
- Fri, June 6 (11:00 pm)
- Sat, June 7, two shows (5:00 pm and 9:30 pm)
- Sun, June 8, (2:00 pm)

Location
Highland Inn Ballroom Lounge
644 N. Highland Ave.
Atlanta, GA 30306
Directions

Tickets, more information 
(tickets and prices available in May (should be $10 to $15. In addition to tickets, you will need to buy at $3 festival entry button.)

Sample show program

3) August 1-16 Edinburgh Festival Fringe theater festival

Dates/times (all shows start at 7:05 pm or 19:05 using local 24-hour time)
- Mon-Sat, Aug 4-9
- Mon-Sat, Aug 11-16

Location
theSpace @ Surgeon's Hall
Nicholson Street, EH8 9DW
Edinburgh, Scotland
Directions


Tickets, more information 
(tickets are 8 British Pounds, or about $12; there may be other fees)

Sample show program


4) Boston-Area Appearances

Dates/times
- May 1, with Judah Leblang at Somerville Public Library (details)
- Events calendar with more listings.



5) Watch Videos Excerpts from Recent Performances

 - Opening scene: "Chronically single? You've got lots of company"
Content warning for adults situations, black tongues, sadistic medical professionals.

- "The Day I Was Almost Gay"
Content warning for prescription drug abuse, gooey sunburns, and men kissing on the lips.
 


Thanks again!

--rr

The Bitter Single's Guide to Valentine's Day (aka Single's Humiliation Day.)

The medical staff at The Loneliest Planet has assembled the following guide to get you through the night.

1) Nourishment: Pint of Ben and Jerry's or a pint of Jack Daniels.

2) Fiscal Aversion Therapy:

- Cost of an engagement ring: $4,600
- Cost of a wedding: $27,000
- Cost of raising a child to 18 (not including college) $227,000
- Cost of a divorce: $8,000 to $133,000 (fees for lawyers and accountants for a contested divorce that goes to trial.)
- Intangibles costs: Average weight gain for men and women after five years of marriage: 6 to 9 pounds.
*Note on Sources: Sketchy at best; I grabbed first semi-reasonable results from Google.

3) Cognitive Therapy:

a) Light Reading: "The John and Lorena Bobbit Story"
Heart-warming tale of boy meets girl, boy abuses girl, girl cuts of boy's penis and throws it out the window of a speeding car, boy becomes a porn star.
b) Movies:
- War of the Roses: Still want to get married?
- Fatal Attraction: Think your last girlfriend was a drama queen?
- Caligula: Think your last boyfriend was a jerk?

4) Self-Improvement

a) Personality Test: Are you marriage material?
b) One man's pathetic story that will no doubt make you feel better about your situation: "Why I'm Over Forty and Still Single"

tags: Valentine's day singles, valentines day singles, singles humiliation day, singles awareness day, single's awareness day.

Are Men Doomed?

Here are three books predicting the end of men as we know it. Guys: Time to kiss your furry butts good bye.

Some contributing factors:
- Changing nature of work: Construction and manufacturing jobs -- high paying jobs that require physical strength are disappearing.
- Changing nature of work party II: Rise of marketing and media jobs. Assuming women do most of the shopping, who better to market to them? Other women.
-  Women don't need a man to get pregnant.
- Adolescence lasting into the thirties. (Can't remember why this affects men more than women.)

Results:
- Women who don't want to marry down, end up marrying late or not at all.
- Average age of marriage in spiking: In Asia it's 32.
- Divorce rates up, birth rates decreasing.
- In some countries, men are importing wives from impoverished countries
- The world is going to hell!
 

Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys
I read most of this one. A nice job.

The End of Men
(This links to a review in the WSJ. I read the review: Disturbing, if you're a guy -- we're done for.)

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks
Written by comedian Adam Carolla.
"It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys.  What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.  Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back."

.