Professional update -- plea for help!

 Hi All,

Apologies in advance to anyone who has already seen this on Facebook or elsewhere. But d-day is approaching and I'm getting nervous!

I) Executive summary

- I've been working on a novel for the last five years and will be circulating to agents in early 2014. The working title for the novel: "The Loneliest Planet."

- I reworked excerpts from the novel into a one-man show called "The Chronic Single's Handbook." I'll be performing the show at two fringe theater festivals next week (two shows in  Portland, ME.) and in late July (five shows in D.C.)

- Can you help me get the word out about the show?

*Mention to people you know who might go, post on Twitter, Facebook, etc. (Sample Tweets and links below.)

*Any help appreciated! My big fear: I've spent four months rehearsing and $1,200 on acting lessons to prepare for these festivals -- and no one shows up to the shows.

Sample Tweet:

A friend will perform his show, The Chronic Single's Handbook, in Maine (6/29-30) & D.C. (7/19-28) Please go or RT http://ow.ly/meo8v

Sample Facebook Post:

A friend will perform his one-man comedy play, The Chronic Single's Handbook, in Maine (6/29-30) & D.C. (7/19-28). The play is about a never-married guy who takes a trip around the world looking for the woman of his dreams. Please go or share. http://ow.ly/meo8v

II) More Detail than you want

1) Here are some links to youtubes of me performing two scenes from the show around Boston. For the theater festivals, I'll have props and no mic, which means I'll be able to move around the stage.

- Opening scene:

"Chronically single? You've got lots of company"

Content warning for adults situations, black tongues, sadistic medical professionals.

http://www.chronicsingle.com/2013/04/chronically-single-youve-got-plenty-of.html

- "The Day I Was Almost Gay"

Content warning for prescription drug abuse, gooey sunburns, and men kissing on the lips.

http://www.theloneliestplanet.com/2012/05/new-video-of-day-i-almost-became-gay.html

2) Here's an online flyer for the show (Twitter and Facebook links go to this page: http://www.chronicsingle.com/2013/05/the-chronic-singles-handbook-shows-for.html

The Chronic Single's Handbook

One man's global search for love

A solo performance inspired by actual events featuring Randy Ross

 Exotic Locales

 Pepto-Bismol

A body-spa named The Curious Finger.

Early praise for The Chronic Single's Handbook:

"Hysterical, side-splitting, profound, a tour-de-force of droll insight. One of the year's best."

-- Randy Ross, writer/performer, The Chronic Single's Handbook

"The balance on your credit card is overdue. Please remit immediately."

-- Bank of West Boston

Upcoming Shows

6/29, 6/30: Portland, ME, PortFringe, fringe theater festival
- Location: Portland Stage Company (PSC) Storefront theater space. Directions
- Times: Saturday 6/29 at 6:00PM, Sunday 6/30 matinee at 1:00PM
- Tickets, more information. 
(tickets cost $10)
*Note: "The Chronic Single's Handbook" may also be listed at "The Handbook for the Chronically Single."
- Show program


7/19 - 7/27: Washington, D.C., Capital Fringe, fringe theater festival
- Location: Gearbox, 1021 7th St NW, 3rd floor, D.C. 20001
- Times (five shows) FR 7/19 6:45PM | SU 7/21 9:30PM | TU 7/23 9:30PM | TH 7/25 10:00PM
SA 7/27 2:PM
- Tickets, more information 
(ticket available in early June. Cost $17, plus $5 or so for festival pass)




Thanks again!

--rr

 

 

Top Secret Work Habits of the Successful Novelist

 

 

Recently, I've been working on my novel at the local library, where I don't have Web access to distract me. Last week, a successful novelist* started coming in to work on what I'm assuming is his next book. So, I've had the good fortune to observe his routine, which I'd like to share.

11:00 a.m.: He arrives, starts his computer.

11:02: As computer boots up, he scratches his forehead with the eraser of a yellow pencil. (I'm guessing it's a Ticonderoga #2)

11:04:  He stares deep into his screen. I imagine his synapses firing, forming succinct, pearly prose.

11:07: He presses two keys with his right hand. And again stares deep into his screen, synapses fire, prose knit and pearl. The sight moves something deep inside me; I have to look away.

11:15: I glance back and the novelist has his head down on the desk. He's taking a nap. Synapses need their rest, too.

12:00 p.m.: His head is up and once again he peers deep into his screen. He scratches himself again with the pencil eraser. (It appears to be the same yellow pencil.) He pauses and checks his watch.

12:01: He leaves his seat, cell phone in hand. (He probably has to call his New York editor, or his New York agent, or possibly a reporter from Vanity Fair.)

12:15: I look out the library window -- the novelist is sitting on the lawn, talking on his cell phone. Minutes later, he flips the phone shut, and walks off in the distance. His computer is still open on his desk. (It appears to be a new wide-screen Dell with a tasteful black case.) This is a public library -- isn't he worried that someone will steal his computer? Oh, right, the man is a true artist, he is not attached to his possessions.

1:30: The novelist returns with a half empty bottle of Diet Coke. Food and drink are not allowed in this section of the library. But he writes fiction, genre-busting fiction. He lives to break rules. He drinks his soda in open defiance of the library establishment.

1:32: I look up and the novelist's head is down, his face to the side, his eyes closed. He must be recharging the synapses.

2:00 p.m.: The novelist packs up his computer and pencil, and leaves. He is a model to us all -- it doesn't matter how much you get done, the important thing is to get that ass in the seat.
 

*This story was inspired by actual events and an actual novelist I observed. But identifying features have been changed and exaggerations added for entertainment value. It appeared in the journal Calliope.

 

Other Humor for Writers:

Why I Hate Twitter

First Encounter with Keywords

First Encounter with SEO

Atribution for radar photo: By David Merrett (Flickr: Giant Wurzburg Radar) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

 

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